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Repress Repress and Andy Turns Eight Tomorrow
By Margot | January 28, 2011
Andy going for a layup (photo by Uncle Matt)
Charlie and Ben Getting their feet massaged at the zoo
Goofy Sam - God, we miss him
Sorry for the lack of update, I’ve been avoiding it because it’s painful. I actually have to delve into feelings that day to day I completely repress. Good news on that front though, Time Magazine did a piece on grief after those awful shootings in Arizona. It turns out that studies show that repressing grief is just as healthy for you as wallowing. So if we all thought (I thought) that I was going to have a complete blow up/melt down/mental breakdown at some point from shoving it all down, it turns out, according to Time Magazine, I may be sort of normal.
We had a very nice Christmas. In contrast to the build up to Christmas, having it with my family, the boys having their cousins and all of us going on a fantastic ski/snowboard (for Andy) trip was the best mecidine. As a mom friend who lost her son this summer texted me, coming home was the hard part. I must give a big thank you to our “Christmas Angels” who left an anonymous gift bag at our door before Christmas. I was having a particularly low day and the gifts were so thoughtful, the boys loved the games and we were so touched by the card and the Sammy’s gift card. Whoever you all are -thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Once school and sports started back up in January, we started going, and have been going since, nonstop. Andy and Charlie both doing basketball, soccer tryouts and getting ready for baseball this spring has kept things interesting. Also, navigating it all as Andy gets older is more interesting and tricky. Not tricky like treatment decision kind of tricky though, and that helps keep it all in perspective.
I try not to think about where we were last year at this point, having learned that Sam had NB in his liver and wondering how and even if he would make it to Andrew’s birthday. In true Sam fashion, he not only made it there but rode a bike at the party. I try to avoid those thoughts – it’s like getting the stockings out for Christmas (we brought Sam’s with us -thanks Lisa Riniolo for the suggestion). I opened the Christmas box, snatched the stockings out of it as if I were snatching them out of fire and then ran out of the garage. It’s as if all those thoughts are fire in my brain and I have to put on my fire suit before I get to them.
Speaking of thoughts, we are starting to put together thoughts on a tennis tournament in Sam’s honor to raise money. It was Colleen’s idea and I think Sam would have loved it because he had so much fun at tennis and it’s something that I think we can handle putting together (little do I know I’m sure). Colleen and I looked at the school calendar today and I had to leave when we got to June and all of the end of the year things planned for the 5th grade class graduating this year. Ugh. She’s working on a great page for the yearbook this year about Sam. I’ll post it here when it comes out.
Charlie and Andy are doing very well. They sure keep us laughing. We had a three day Monopoly game last week and Andy always says “Sam You Rock” as he blows on his dice to get a lucky roll. He won, completely bankrupting me. Charlie and I went to the zoo with his best buddy from school, Ben. They were so cute together and we had a very nice day. Ben is as crazy about sports as Charlie is and their little group of boys play basketball and football at school every day. Charlie is starting to read and shouts out the signs when we drive anywhere. He’s liking basketball though he’s playing with and against some pretty big kids so he gets frustrated when he doesn’t get passed the ball a lot.
Andrew is basketball crazy and loving it. He’s trying out for soccer and starts baseball in the spring. I can’t believe he will be eight tomorrow, though as every year with him, I can’t believe it and then I also can’t believe he’s not already twenty. We are doing a laser tag party for him and he has two basketball games tomorrow. He’s having a great time at school and gets chased by all the girls after school when I pick him up. He tells me with a big grin that he doesn’t like “all the prissy girls.” He really likes his teacher Mrs. Carlson and she loves to tease him. They had a bet on the San Diego State /BYU basketball game and Andy won -he likes Jimmer Fredette and Mrs. Carlson joked that she didn’t even want to come to school the next day. He’s doing great academically and is still doing chess club. Sam would be so proud of his progress in chess. We love you so much Andy boy, Happy Birthday!
Please keep all the NB families in your thoughts and prayers, especially the Witts who lost brave and wonderful Liam this past week, the Carrascos who lost beautiful Ylaria, the Bartoz’s who had tough scans this week and still manage to inspire, Nick Franca, who continues to amaze us all, and the Vannis whose precious Sal had scans this week as well – hoping for good news there.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 12 Comments »
January 29th, 2011 at 12:30 am
M- Your post made me so sad because I had to read about what you are up to instead of hearing about all the Hutchison happenings in person. Miss you my dear friend. 3000 miles is too far & I miss all the laughing and fun you, Colleen & I had. I can’t believe I never had a chance to say goodbye to Neil. Tell him I miss him too! Love you & the kiddos TONS! Call me!
January 29th, 2011 at 12:44 am
That last paragraph. So freaking heavy to read.
Wordless.
Soldier on. ?
Andy, you are my hero.
Uncle Tom
January 29th, 2011 at 3:37 am
Happy Birthday Andy!!!!!! You guys are awesome!!!! Thinking about you all the time!!!!!
rhonda
January 29th, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Happy Birthday, Andy! Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Hope Andy has a great day!
January 29th, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Happy Birthday to you Andy!
Thinking about you today! Hope you guys are having a great Laser Tag party!
You are such an incredible boy….wise (and funny) beyond your years! Looks like you are going to be another “one man team” like good old Jimmer F.
Love, Ms. Carlson
P.S….My Aztecs ARE going to win this week! Game on!
January 31st, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Happy Birthday Andy! Hope your Laser Tag party was fun. Hope you liked the Rockets and Dynamo shirts. Always thinking of you guys!
Love, Nicole
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:08 am
Happy Birthday to ANDY!!!! Looking good at basketball!! Thanks for the update…. especially realizing how very difficult it must be to post…
Love to all of you,
Colleen, Nick and gang
PS Nick turned 50 today! Tell Neil he should feel like a youngster next to his old roommate!
February 4th, 2011 at 3:48 am
Love the photos of all the boys. You guys sure grow ’em handsome. The tennis tournament idea is fantastic. Would love to help. I have fun memories of Sam, Mack, Andy, and Grant at tennis camp together. And Andy sure is doing well on both the b-ball and tennis courts! Yes, what an incredible moment when Sam got on that bike at Andy’s party last year. What a memorable ride. Sheer determination and bravery – and once he got going — JOY! I know he was watching and enjoying Andy’s birthday this year too – why else would there have been another boy at laser tag that night named Sam, who was turning ten? Love you all. We think of Sam every day. Lisa
February 5th, 2011 at 2:21 am
Tthinking of you guys! Happy Birthday to Andy!! Angela (Madison’s Mom)
February 17th, 2011 at 5:24 am
Hi
My name is Jenna and I came across your site. Sam was a real hero, and he is still a hero and a precious angel smiling down on all who love him. U and ur family will be in my thoughts and prayers, as I know how hard it is to lose someone, especially a child. I was born with a rare life threatening bone disease.
February 20th, 2011 at 3:30 am
Thinking of you guys as March approachs. Love to you all! Angela (Madison’s Mom)
February 26th, 2011 at 4:00 am
Margot,
It always seems the things that are running through my head are also running through yours. I havent checked in for a while and when I do I saw the words Repress, Repress and I almost started laughing. I have been so worried about all the things, thoughts, memories, details of Melina that I have been pushing away…fearing I would crack one day. Im was thrilled to hear about the Time Magazine article…..so I guess will be ok…ha…ha
Thinking of you all and Happy belated birthday to Andy,
Lisa