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Thanksgiving/Bye Week
By Margot | November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving. Hard to believe I haven’t updated since Halloween. We have finished up regular season soccer and baseball and Andy is doing All Star soccer and basketball and Charlie is going to be in the basketball draft this Friday. I’m stage moming him in since he’s only four and he’s supposed to be five but he’s tall enough and wants to do it. He’s football obsessed lately and last week said to me, “So Mom, next week is my bye week from school right?” Is there such a thing as too much football for a four year old?
We went to the bookstore with Grandma Sara and Grandma Joan and Uncle Matt earlier this week and he bought football books. One of which is a book about SuperBowls which has a story about every team that ever won the Super Bowls and which ones they won and in which year. The problem with the book is that all of the SuperBowls are in totally random order and they put the number of the SuperBowl in roman numerals so I read the book to Charlie and then have to pause for thirty seconds while I figure out what the heck the roman numeral equates to in regular numbers. His preschool teachers said he is organizing football games in preschool and everyone looks up to him because he knows all the rules. It’s pretty funny.
Andy got an excellent report card a couple of weeks ago. He’s doing pretty well. His teacher showed me one of his writing pieces where they had to write about a happy or sad time in their lives and Andy asked if he could write about both. He wrote about a time when he was playing football and wrestling with Sam and they were laughing and laughing and then Charlie came over and asked if he could play and they “tesed and tesed him” and then he wrote that the saddest time in his life was when he “herd that Sam died.”It just about killed me but I am glad that he is writing about Sam.
I guess it’s pretty obvious in this update what I am thankful for. I am trying so hard to get to the place where I am thankful for having Sam for nine years and not just sad that he’s not here for 81 or 91 more. I wish I could just nicely write that and leave it but it wouldn’t be all that genuine. We have a video of him from last year’s Thanksgiving and Uncle Matt keeps asking him to say Happy Thanksgiving and he has this big grin on his face and he rolls his eyes and says, “I already said it, I’m not saying it again for the camera.” I love it, it shows Sam’s sense of humor and personality so well. I would promise to figure out vidoe editing and put it up here but anyone who’s been reading this blog for any amount of time knows that is an empty promise. I didn’t realize that I would wake up with such a lump in my throat today. The thought of saying what I am thankful for at the dinner table puts me into a panic mode and puts tears in my eyes – so I may have to opt out. It doesn’t mean I am not thankful for my wonderful family, my husband, Charlie, Andy and Sam, and all the wonderful people we met through our cancer journey, as well as the friends that held us up and kept us going through it all, even the parts that were so impossibly hard. It just means that Thanksgiving without that eyeroll and that smile is going to be tough.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 10 Comments »
November 25th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Dear Sam’s Family,
Thinking of you all on this first Thanksgiving and sending you warm hugs.
t
November 25th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Hugs and prayers from Michigan. I am thankful for you all!
November 25th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Thinking about ya’ll today….and everyday……
rhonda
November 25th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
I was down by the beach and thought of Sam today. I am so sorry you are without your sweet boy today. Prayers and warm thoughts are with you all! Angela (Madison’s Mom)
FYI- I just found out what BYE week meant last week and Charlie already has it figured out! 🙂
November 27th, 2010 at 6:20 am
Thinking of you during this holiday season
November 28th, 2010 at 2:30 am
Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you all. I am embarrassed to say that I had to look up Bye week. Charlie will have to teach me the rules of football too. Sam must be so proud of his brothers for being such athletes and scholars at the same time. Thinking of you and am thankful for your friendship.
– Nicole
November 28th, 2010 at 6:03 am
Oh Margot….This is so damn hard. Most Sundays I make a big dinner and my entire family eats at my house. It has been this was for 15 years or so. This Thanksgiving I pretended all day that it was just another sunday.. Denial works for me sometimes!!!!(probably going to come back and bite me in the *%$.
BUT…Christmas….I have no idea how I’ll hand out presents to only three kids instead of four while Joe video tapes their excitment. Just the thought of that morning has me breaking out in a sweat. I can feel the panic rising as I try to figure out how to handle it.
Did I say how hard this is and how much it SUCKS..I know you know I guess I just need to say it..
Always thinking of you all,
Lisa
November 29th, 2010 at 4:22 am
thanking you for your friendship and for sharing Sam and your wonderful family with all of us! Hugs especially to you and Neil as you navigate your way through the holidays,all the while, missing your Sam more than ever.
lots of special love,
Colleen & Nick & family
December 3rd, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Oh how I felt and tasted that lump as well. Monday I couldnt even bear the day after all the activites were done. I just want so bad to touch and see him to hear his chatter box voice telling me what to do. Christmas will be hard for us all and you all. It is so hard to say I m thankful for the 12 years or even the extra five years we got when they thought he was not going to make it in 2005. I m here for you and I know you are here for us. We love you guys and know we are feeling your pain alongside of you.
Robin and Laurie
December 24th, 2010 at 2:50 pm
All of the Hutchinsons continue to inspire me. I wish I had some magic words of wisdom or comfort, but all I can say is that you have more courage than I can imagine having, and although I wish your pain could be replaced with gratitude, it sucks that Sam isn’t there, and that’s allowed to hurt. I know I don’t know you well, but I’m grateful for all of you.