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Three Years

By Margot | March 12, 2013

Three Years. I can’t believe he has been gone three whole years.  We miss everything about him.   I miss him for his brothers, I miss him for his dad, I miss him for me, and for all of us who knew and loved him.  

Once when he and I were having a random conversation about getting hit by a bus and the fact that if it happened you’d want to know that you’d lived every day and that you’d had a good life, Sam said to me without hesitation.  “I’ve had a good life, Mom.”  He said it happily and cheerfully and as if the matter were settled.   As if, were a bus to come along that very afternoon, he would be fine because he’d lived a good life.  I hold on to those five words from my sweet boy.   And I try my darndest every day to hold on to, and live up to, the spirit in which he said them.

Remember to laugh or tell a good joke in honor of Sam   - he loved to laugh.

Margot

Topics: Progress Reports | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Three Years”

  1. Colleen Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    And those words were said by a boy who had battled a terrible disease for years! We miss him too – we’ll share a laugh in his honor.

  2. Angela Rowe Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Wow- what a gift he gave you! He was a sweet boy and so fun loving. I can’t believe it has been 3 years. Thinking of you all today-Angela (madison’s .om)

  3. Ann Podeszwa Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Thoughts.. Prayers… Good karma … As I sit in radiology with Alex, I cannot help but keep you and your family in my thoughts. I’m always acutely aware of our old pals who are still in it, are angels and their families… Sometimes it is hard to believe of the diagnosis in the first place… Despite the years. That have passed, know Sam and your family has a special place in my heart! Ann

  4. Uncle Matt Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 4:07 pm

    Just a few things about him that I miss:

    – His giggles.
    – Chasing him around your courtyard.
    – Watching American Idol together and his predictions as to who would make it through and who wouldn’t (he was always right).
    – Playing Bakugans, although, to this day, I still have no idea what the numbers on the bottom of each character meant. And yet he would explain to me ad naseum, and I still wouldn’t comprehend.
    – Playing video games, especially when he would give himself a five-second head start and freeze my character, just as I was getting good!
    – Playing chess and the smile that would erupt on his face when he beat me for real. Time after time.
    – Watching him treat his younger brothers with gentleness and kindness.
    – His desperate attempts to keep his food away from Roscoe’s prying mouth. I have image after image of him holding his (insert good here) high above his head, as Roscoe danced around on his hind feet, desperately trying to snatch it away
    – Which leads me back to my first point: His giggles. Because Roscoe (and everything about life) made him laugh.

    Run, Sam, run!

    Uncle Matt and Roscoe.

  5. Rebecca Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    Thinking of Sam and your family today. He-like many other NB angels-cross my mind so often.

    It is so obvious by all that you have written over the years that he was loved beyond words…and he knew it. :)What a gift.

  6. The Adams family Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Thinking of you all today, and keeping Sam always in our hearts. He was one in a million, that boy…will always remember that smile, and his unlimited capacity for fun and hi-jinks. He taught us all so much.
    Love to all the Hutchisons,
    Vicki, Bill and Mimi

  7. Lisa Bonebrake Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Love all you Hutchisons and thinking of you so much today. I was weepy this morning, then had a moment of clarity and remembered Sam sitting at our dining room table laughing so hard that milk came out of his nose, which made everyone else start laughing so hard – milk started pouring from almost everyone’s nose and it took quite awhile to pull ourselves together. That giggle, that sense of humor, that joy, that ability to forget the pain and instead focus on all the good stuff — love that about Sam. And I know just where he got it. Getting in the game again today, Sam… Love, Lisa

  8. Grandma Sara Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Oh Marg,what a beautiful writing! & great pictures of Sam!! Yes, he had a beautiful life because you and Neil made it so!I knew today was the day Sam died 3 years ago; and when “accidentally on purpose”, I called you. I was happy to find “yuall”, your little family, was driving to Arizona to watch baseball, Spring training! as you did when Sam was alive! One of my favorite pictures is of Sam and both of his brothers at the baseball park in Scotsdale I have all three prominatly displayed on Sam’s table in my living room! I miss his wry smile and darling sense of humor I hope you and the boys have a good time in Sam’s honor. He loved baseball. He’d be so proud of his brothers who,presently are very good at playing the game. Much Love, “Grandma Sara”

  9. Sarah Bartosz Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    Thinking about you so very much today . . . and every day. We share a kinship and understanding few do and no one should have to. I hope our smiling, happy, laughing boys are sharing sunshine and happiness together knowing how much they were and will always be loved.

    With friendship and love,
    Sarah

  10. Uncle Matt (and Roscoe) Says:
    March 12th, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    4:10p PT three years later: Run, Sam, run. And don’t ever stop!

  11. Dorean S Says:
    March 13th, 2013 at 2:28 am

    Remembering Sam today and keeping all of you in our prayers

  12. carole potter Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    I will never forget Sam. The love Sam had for his brothers and his parents was something I strive for in my own family. Margot, you and Neil taught me so much. I think of your family often. – Nurse Carole from Rady’s

  13. Stevie Maley Says:
    March 16th, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    Sam left this earthly world MUCH too soon, though our memories of him will be with us forever. Please take comfort, Margot & Neil, in that you did everything possible to make his too-short lifetime full of confidence, love, and genuine joy. His “I’ve had a good life, Mom” was so very apt and so very true. Our thoughts and love are with you always. Stevie & Dad

  14. Mary Montford Says:
    March 18th, 2013 at 9:13 am

    Sam…three years and the tears flow as easily now as they did the day it happend. Sam did live a good life because everyone who knew and loved him made sure of it. He was precious in my eyes and I miss him. I love Sam and I love all of you. God bless you all.

    Love, Angel Mary

  15. Colleen Kuhn Says:
    April 25th, 2013 at 4:11 am

    We thought of Sam on his angelversary and have continued to keep him and you all in our thoughts. His precious words to you Margot are a true sign of his happiness and love for you and Neil and his brothers! He was happy and content, even though he had to struggle through an awful illness. You gave him joy and love, a sense of peace and warmth and he returned it back to you all ….. and that is what we miss about him, his love of life and family!
    That lives on for eternity!
    Love, Colleen, Nick and family

  16. Scott K Says:
    May 14th, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    I remember Sam being so confident and proud all of the time. No cast, no hearing device would deter him from being a normal, wild kid.

    I loved playing football with him in the park near your house when we visited one time. He loved to laugh, his eyes were pure. I love our kids, Sam, Hazen….

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