By Margot | January 12, 2009
Neil took Sam to his last radiation appointment this morning and then he went to school until I picked him up for the dentist at 10:30. He needed to have his cavities filled before starting chemo. Dr. Scoma gave him laughing gas but it didn’t seem to help and it was long and uncomfortable and he kept trying not to breathe through his nose where the laughing gas was coming and the doctor kept telling him to try. Anyway, it sucked. He kept asking me if we were almost done and I kept thinking we have to be almost done. It seemed like it took forever but as soon as it was over we went to Toys R Us and found one of the last Bakugans on the shelf and got some legos for the hospital tomorrow. We were on our way home to get something soft for lunch and drove by school. “Mom, stop!” Lunch is still going on. What time is it?” I swerve into the drop off section and say, “It’s twenty till one.” “There’s still a lot of lunch left. I want to go to school.” “But Sam aren’t you still kind of woozy and don’t your teeth hurt? And you haven’t eaten anything. Do you want to go to the cafeteria?” No way. It’s too late to eat. I want to play four square.” I considered the fact that he will miss the rest of this week and though never before would I have sent him back to school with no lunch I thought “what the heck, he’ll eat when he gets home” and we got out and he went straight to the blacktop after we checked in with Mrs. Abbuhl. He is extra bummed about missing tomorrow because it’s P.E. day.
I lost it this morning when telling Mrs. Abbuhl he’d be out for the rest of the week. It was deja vu because I did the exact same thing with Mrs. Gage when we relapsed two years ago both times after telling myself not to cry the whole way in. Anyway, I’m glad Sam got to go back. He had such smile on his face. His ability to bounce back practically makes me ashamed of myself.
I am gearing myself up mentally for the trip to New York in a month or two months or whenever we can go. We’re going to try and take the whole family. The kids always say they want to go and I know there is plenty to do. I loved going there when I was eight to visit my aunt when she was writing for The New York Times. Boy, do I miss her! I’ve been there many times since for work and such but it was awesome when I was eight. I keep trying to sing Frank Sinatra’s “New York New York” to myself but I keep thinking of that old Kurtis Blow song (you won’t know it unless you went through a rap phase ). The only words I remember are the very beginning of the song, “New York! Cold! Hard! City!” I’m only thinking that because of the treatment and side effects. We will make it an adventure and hopefully it will knock back the NB. As usual though, I’m several steps ahead of myself. We need to have much less disease than we have now and I should focus on getting through tomorrow and the rest of this week and the next couple of months first.
We’ll get the official read on the scan tomorrow. Though really, why bother?